Daddy

Males have always been apart of my life. Emmo, Brent, Omari, DJ and Tennison. Gabbo, Niko, Felipe, Julian, Calvin, Ty, my numerous male friends in high school, at one point in my life I had more male friends than females. Marlon, Stefan, Rojet, Warren. Jeremy, Stefon, Tim. They were and all are there but none ever played the role of a father and why would they, they were all close in age to me, I would seriously take advice from them. Xavier, Ricardo, Johann, Jovin, Jovan, Sadikie, Mark are all awesome but I wouldn’t turn to them for fatherly advice.

I never had the countless father figures but I had, have a father, a daddy. He has provided for me for as far back as I can remember. I can imagine, even from before I was born. He wasn’t absent like many ‘fathers’, he was there with the lunch money, the advice, the instruction, the countless questions regarding anything in the world. The ride to school and home, the trips to grandma, the vacations to mentionable hotels and resorts, the plane fares and trips to the States, he was there. He was even there with the belt for discipline. The porridge I would leave on the table till it went watery, the food I refused to eat, the Swizzles from the office, and our favourite treats. My father has always been around, and even though he isn’t around as much anymore, he still manages to provide groceries, technical support and advice.

I remember my daddy allowing me to ride in the front of the car. I always wanted to drive like him, he was sooooo cool. I would put my igloo that mommy filled to the brim with ice-cold water, in between my legs, even when I wore my gym shorts to school. I would unscrew the cover just enough that I could mimic his control of the steering wheel. Even when we turned hard or had to swerve to avoid something and the cold water would spill and cause me to squeal, I wanted to be like my Daddy the Great.

I remember on our countless trips in and around Kingston and in extension Jamaica. My father worked with Telephone Company turned Telecommunications Jamaica turned Cable and Wireless (which is now called LIME) and he worked wherever they sent him. One day he had to be in Ocho Rios, another was St. Elizabeth, another St. Mary. He would drop us off at school, give us his last cash, then head out of town empty handed in the Toyota Corolla, with a wheat biscuit in the glove compartment and a bottle of water he filled at home. Then he would rush back in so he could attempt to pick us up when school was over. Many times, I would be at school late, waiting on him to pick me up. I was exhausted after a day at school but that never compared to the exhaustion he felt having to do all he did in one day. Some days he had decided to either stay over because he was too tired and found it unsafe to travel back in to town or the job simply wasn’t done. On the days we did get to travel out of town or out of Kingston with him, my most favourite question and most definitely asked was “Daddy where are we?”. No matter how often I asked, and trust me I asked very often, the answer was given and that’s how I know how most places look or can recall having visited there.

I remember getting a bloody nose at school and daddy was there. Problems with teachers and principal and he would have my back. Even when I was denied a space in a high school Technical Drawing class, daddy was my Calvary, brought in to fight my battles.

Trips to rivers in places I can’t even remember, those to Reich Falls, stopping to get snacks or a Nestle Drumsticks (because he particularly fancies them), meeting family members everywhere we went. Pee pee spots all over Jamaica because my bladder was relentless. Being stuck on Mount Rosser till late. We all slept while he stayed awake and suffered as the designated driver. Told me it was ok, when I emptied my bottle and it fell and the car ran over it, and I decided to mourn like I just lost a person.

My father played football both professionally and then as a hobby. I remember the football matches, the trips to playing fields, playing up at UWI and even rushing him to the hospital when the lightning and electrocuted his arm out of its socket. My father was invincible. My daddy was better than any other daddy out there.

My father has afforded me many opportunities that many kids out there don’t get. He taught me to change a tire and do it in record time. Taught me a lot of stuff about cars, few I remember now. Lectures after lectures, requests after requests. Helped me to set up my first email address. He was order and control in my life. Helped with my college application, not to mention SAT classes. Escorted my to college, bailed me out of many sticky situations to this very day. My problems have grown and so has my problems with my father, but there is no doubt that he should be dubbed father, daddy.

So many memories, long forgotten because of momentary squabbles, an unfulfilled promise, rejected requests, mistakes made, all gone unforgiven. It’s funny how in the midst of these disagreements, you never feel the guilt of what your parents have done for you, how I never really understood the magnitude of the impact my father had and continues to have on my life, don’t think I comprehend the fullness of it even now and I guess it’s harder to get along with him now because we are so much alike. We never know the impact we have on the lives of other people but when we start to realize, we must be deliberate and positive. My father has made me the leader I am now, something I am proud to be.

God is to be thanked for this revelation for as I sat in church this morning, for both services, I listened to Ramon and Dwayne and Gabre share their father experiences, I started to trod down memory lane. My father ran his family like how one runs a business.